


Ineffable Oops

by Sage_Speight_Trickster_In_Training



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Attempted Sex, Crowley Has A Vulva (Good Omens), First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Other, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 16:55:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20678762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sage_Speight_Trickster_In_Training/pseuds/Sage_Speight_Trickster_In_Training
Summary: There are a couple things you should know about celestial beings. They are, by default, genderless. Both demons and angels are made without genitals or gender norms, those are human things. But being around humans for as long as Aziraphale and Crowley have, well that gives them a slightly different perspective. Their bodies, unless they chose to make an effort, don't have genitals, they never have a reason for them. However, recent events have led them to try certain activities that require certain parts. In other words they were trying to have sex.





	Ineffable Oops

There are a couple things you should know about celestial beings. They are, by default, genderless. Both demons and angels are made without genitals or gender norms, those are human things. But being around humans for as long as Aziraphale and Crowley have, well that gives them a slightly different perspective. Their bodies, unless they chose to make an effort, don't have genitals, they never have a reason for them. However, recent events have led them to try certain activities that require certain parts. In other words they were trying to have sex. 

Aziraphale had been quite excited to give his first blowjob, having assumed that Crowley's choice of a masculine body ment he preferred a more masculine parts and since his exact words to Crowley were "I wish to suck your dick.", the angels attempt at dirty talking, Crowley willed his body to make a certain effort so that Aziraphale could do just that. What Crowley didn't explain to Aziraphale was that even though he went with male pronouns most of the time and usually outwardly appeared male, he really much preferred having more feminine parts. Which led to the unfortunate event regarding Aziraphales first an attempt at giving a blow job. 

It was going well at first, they had a nice dinner at the Ritz, ending with some wine, not too much mind you, until they ended in Crowley's bed. It was going splendidly, greatly due to Aziraphale's lack of a gag reflex, that was until Crowley relaxed and started enjoying himself a little too much, then he lost his focus and the dick he had willed onto himself suddenly disappeared and a familiar wet heat took its place. A third party would have trouble describing which of them were more surprised. The demon who suddenly switched sexes, or the angel who, until a moment ago, had a dick in his mouth which then disappeared, causing him to get an unexpected face full of vagina. 

After a moment of silence followed, in which both parties realized what had just happened. The demon's face was stuck between flushing in embarrassment and paling in mortification. The angle however, was just confused. 

"Well that has never happened in any of the films I have seen." He said, looking up at the conflicted demon above him. "Is that a normal occurrence during this type of thing?"

Crowley covers his face with his hands in embarrassment and anger at himself. "No! No angel, that is not normal!  _ That _ was my body malfunctioning because it is useless whenever I need it!" He shouted, absolutely furious at his body for not following his commands. He is a celestial being for someone's sake! His body shouldn't care what genital he has. 

Aziraphale frowns in confusion at Crowley's outburst. "Whatever do you mean useless? Your corporation is beautiful my dear. I was just surprised is all." Aziraphale sits back on his knees and wrings his hands together. "I do hope I haven't offended you. I just wasn't expecting it. If it's okay with you I would love to try again." 

Crowley's hands come off his face and he looks at Aziraphale. "You haven't done anything wrong. If my body would just listen to me and do what it is told, I wouldn't have to go through this every time I want to have a wank or do something like this." Crowley huffs, "It would do no use to try again though, it'll just happen again. Maybe we can try another time when my body is more agreeable. I know this", he gestured to his crotch,"is not what you want." Crowley grumbled, deeply embarrassed by the situation, wishing he never let it get this far in the first place. Aziraphale, however, wasn't. 

"Now Crowley my dear, I don't know what I did to give you the impression that I love you any less in this form than any other form. I am truly sorry for whatever I did that made you feel that way. This is just your corporation, while it is a very nice one at that, it is not the part of you that I fell in love with." Aziraphale brings his hand up and cups Crowley's face, his eyes full of love and admiration for the demon. "My dear Crowley, I love  _ you _ . The body you chose will never change that darling." 

To Crolwey's horror, he can feel tears swell in his eyes as he feels the waves of love Aziraphale is sending him. He closes his eyes and leans into the warmth if Aziraphale's hand. He lets out a shuttered breath and Aziraphale shifts to sit next to him on the bed. Crowley nuzzles unto Aziraphale as the angel wraps his arms and wings around Crowley, knowing how the demon hates feeling vulnerable, even if it is just the two of them in the room. 

"I love you too Angel." Crowley whispers into Aziraphale's embrace. 


End file.
